You both work hard at establishing the relationship and the chances are that you have a wonderful time in doing so. The relationship progresses and you get engaged. You manage to survive the dreaded cold feet syndrome and you got married. You went away on your honeymoon I hope that you had a great time and now you are back just about to walk through your front door this is where reality reasserts itself and you begin the quest to find the secret to a happy marriage.
First of all you have to want a happy marriage you have to be positive and confident about the future you have to look forward to each and every day with the person who has become the centre of your universe. There are going to be some rough times ahead but so long as you believe in what you have then you will not only make it through but your bond will grow stronger.
Marriage is a partnership it is a union of two equal halves from the moment you got married it was no longer all about I it is now all about we. Now this does not mean that you have to give up your separate identities who you are is what drew you together and you do not want to lose that. You are each others emotional and physical support and you face the good times and the bad times together. Do not forget that your marriage is the strongest bond that you can have between two people it supersedes all tie to friends and family! People can move on even your kids your spouse is the only one who will stay with you for the rest of your life. You are each others one guaranteed constant in an ever changing world.
It is vital that you never stop communicating. If you do not communicate how will you know the others needs or feelings. If there are issues then a lack of communication will ensure that they spiral out of control and possibly wreck your relationship. Basic human curiosity should keep you interested in each others lives it will give you something to talk about and the more that you talk the stronger your bond will become. When your partner is saying something then listen to what they are saying show them that you care about their opinions and give them the respect that they deserve.
Regardless of wether you have a happy or unhappy marriage you are going to have some rough patches. It is important that you deal with them and not ignore them. If you ignore then they will still be there nothing will have changed but those problems will fester and cause you unnecessary grief. The secret to a happy marriage dealing with your problems rationally and calmly a screaming match will only prolong the situation so if you need to cool down before you discuss things then do so. You have to be willing to negotiate and compromise find a solution and then move on.
When you got married you made a commitment and it is one that you need to stick to no matter what happens. As the years go by the experiences that you both share will help to enrich your relationship.
